I love you, and I can die or even kill for you!"

Hello abundance tribe. I am here typing on my new pc and am so excited!!! Using a brand new item feels good you know. LOL! Abundance is here!<br /><br /><strong><em>Let’s talk about love bombing</em></strong>.<br /><br />It is a strategy that narcs use to attract their victims. If you have been traumatized all your life, you didn’t get validation from your family, when you get validations from a narc., you get the feeling that you have found that special someone. <br /><br />A narc. makes you feel so special, calls you endlessly, showers you with praises during the love-bombing stage. As soon as you’re hooked, they will discard you.<br /><br />I also explained more in a video here:<br /><br />In my book, <strong><em>How To Kill Your Spouse</em></strong><em>, </em>I talked about my relationship with my ex-husband from page 69, in the chapter titled, <strong><em>Red Flags</em></strong><em>. </em><br /><br />I encourage you to take the following activities from the <strong><em>Broken Child, Broken Adult </em></strong>self-care journal. <br /><br />#Does your partner gets agitated when you’re speaking with the opposite sex in a way that shows unhealthy jealousy?<br /><br />#Does your partner ask you many questions about your movements?<br /><br />#Does your partner show you excessive love and affection that isn’t given to others?<br /><br />Take these activities so you learn the signs to look out for in a relationship with a narc. Love that is possessive and insecure, isn’t healthy.<br /><br />To find out more, get my book at www.bisolamariam.com/htkys to read what I have experienced in a narcissistic relationship. <br /><br />My story is relatable and will equip you with the knowledge you need especially if you’re in doubt of what you’re experiencing. Sometimes victims are not aware that they are being abused. Especially if it’s an emotionally abusive relationship.<br /><br /><strong><em>What’s coming up at BM’S academy?</em></strong><br /><br />I have kicked off enrollment into my academy for folks looking to get monthly live Q&A in my academy: www.bisolamariam.com<br /><br />There, I will provide monthly coaching for:<br /><br /># Scholars in domestic violence situations.<br /><br />#Scholars looking to secure grants, scholarships, fellowships or assistantships, to study/conduct research in the United States or in African countries.<br /><br />#Scholars looking to set up sustainable digital businesses, non-profits or social enterprises, online and in person, and earn $1,000 or more monthly.<br /><br />Membership in my coaching community, BM’S Academy is now open.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.bisolamariam.com/coaching" target="_blank">Click here to join </a><br /><br />The monthly subscription is listed below.<br /><br />Regular member: $1 with access to monthly live Q&A/webinars and free e-books. <br /><br />VIP member : $100 with all benefits in regular, and additional weekly emails and videos from coach BM. <br /><br />VVIP: $1000 with all benefits in VIP and bi-weekly zoom call on request and as scheduled by coach BM. <br /><br />Partner: $10,000 with all benefits in VVIP and weekly zoom call. <br /><br />To join my program, go to <strong><em>www.bisolamariam.com/coaching</em></strong> <br /><br />Every month, I plan to hold a live Q&A with those in my academy, offering strategies in the three signature areas. <br /><br /><strong><em>Here’s the schedule for the next quarter:</em></strong><br /><br /><strong><em>July-September</em></strong>: Priority coaching for scholars looking to secure scholarships, grants, fellowships or fellowships to study or conduct research in the United States or in African countries. <br /><br /><strong><em>October-November:</em></strong> Priority coaching for scholars in need of education, resources or legal services for escaping domestic violence situations. <br /><br /><strong><em>December: </em></strong>December to Remember Conference. <br /><br />Talk soon,<br /><br />Queen BM. <br /><br /><em>Abundance is here!</em><br /><br />www.bisolamariam.com<br /><br />Twitter/Instagram : @bmariam_sdg10<br /><br />Linkedin: BisolaMariam<br /><br />Facebook/Youtube: Bisola-Mariam <br /><br />Get full access to BM's Musings at <a href="https://bisolamariam.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">bisolamariam.substack.com/subscribe</a>

00:04:38

"Why are you saying this is right now, you said it was wrong the last time?"

In today's podcast, I shared about another red flag in a narcissistic relationship. <br /><br />This is day 44 of the childhood trauma and narc. abuse series. <br /><br />I wanted to share with you, another excerpt from the book, <em>Broken Child, Broken Adult. </em><br /><br />That is…<br /><br />Another sign that your partner is a narcissist.<br /><br />When you are married to, or dating someone who is a religious (let me add hypocrite), someone appears better than others, but isn’t actually righteous. <br /><br />Especially when you know how this person actually is, since you live together, do not be fooled to thinking that partner has changed, or is becoming a better person. You can't tell what exactly is on another's mind! <br /><br />One thing narcs. are good at, is the abilit to switch personalities to achieve their aim. They are like chameleons (Oga, in Yoruba language). <br /><br />But once they achieve their aim, or fulfil a need, they will return to their actual nature. <br /><br />Two scenerios from my relationship with my ex-husband. <br /><br />When we were together, I knew his idea of religion was hypocritical. When we had conversations about religion, he would criticize certain tenets of religion and even some religious leaders, but when he needed to weaponize religion, he would go back to quoting those same tenets, scriptures or even religious thought leaders. How ironical?<br /><br />That’s why many pastors, imams, popes, etc are narcs., they know how well to cover their tracks and you will never be able to tell because people generally believe what they are told. (According to Truth Default Theory (TDT)). <br /><br />Narcs. are religious hypocrites, and they play the religious doubleganger (a doubleganger is a two-sided personality) so well! <br /><br />That is why you need a mind of your own!<br /><br />2. I will share another scenerio from my book, How to Kill Your Spouse. On page 78, I talked about how he would weaponize religion when talking about my hair, and was also the one who would praise those girls whom he was discouraging me fron getting close to by quoting scriptures.<br /><br />Now let me analyze this; his gain by keeping me under his control, was to ensure that I become unattractive to other men. So no one would have what he was deceitfully enjoying. <br /><br />However, he also found those other women who had the kind of hairstyles he would disapprove of, useful for his sexual escapades. <br /><br />So religion is a weapon for serving personal gains for a narc. <br /><br /># As you reflect on this, think about yourself and your significant other. Who is the narc.? Being a narc. isn’t the problem, remaining one is… <br /><br /># Make a note in your journal, think about past memories, events or situations when your partner acted in a spiritually controversial way, and would still try to be a Saint at the same time. <br /><br />#Think about about everything. Write as much as you can remember. <br /><br />I recorded a podcast and YouTube video here. <br /><br />Watch here:<br /><br />What's coming up? <br /><br />In BM’S academy, I will provide mentorship on these signature areas.<br /><br />Clarity and healing strategies for victims of toxic relations/ domestic. This is the first key subject to be covered. I will prioritize questions on this subject in the academy, as we look forward to the World Domestic Violence Day this year and in the future. <br /><br />Clarity for scholars looking to secure funding to study, or conduct research abroad.<br /><br />Clarity for scholars with long term study plans, victims of domestic violence without financial empowerment, but are looking to build a sustainable source of income online or offline using digital skills. <br /><br />Regular monthly membership fee is $1. <br /><br />VIP is $100.<br /><br />VVIP is $1000.<br /><br />We welcome donations at BM LLC as well. <br /><br />Register here or donate at www.bisolamariam.com/coaching <br /><br />Do me a favor. Please follow @i.dey.for.you on Instagram. <br /><br />I love you. <br /><br />Abundance is here, <br /><br />Queen Bisola-Mariam <br /><br />Get full access to BM's Musings at <a href="https://bisolamariam.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">bisolamariam.substack.com/subscribe</a>

00:04:39

"You are the only one who can save me!"

If you would rather listen to the podcast above, simply go ahead.<br /><br />But today, as we continue the childhood trauma and narc. abuse series, you must be careful when they play the victim card. <br /><br />When you go around hoping that you can safe everyone, you are a prey for every narc. out there, and the earlier you understand that you can’t save anyone (especially a fellow adult) then you have your peace!<br /><br />I wanted this to be a quick read as we have 18 more series in the childhood trauma and narc. abuse series to complete the 60 days series. <br /><br />I explained in a short video as well.<br /><br />Watch here. <br /><br />Join my coaching community to get my attention as I answer questions weekly in BM’S Academy. <br /><br />Go to www.bisolamariam.com/coaching.<br /><br />Your friend,<br /><br />Queen BM. <br /><br />Get full access to BM's Musings at <a href="https://bisolamariam.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">bisolamariam.substack.com/subscribe</a>

00:02:21

Understanding your attachment style

What is your attachment style? Find out here. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/message Support this podcast: <a href="https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support" rel="payment">https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support</a>

00:19:07

Two caregivers, two personalities:

When you have two parents with two different personality types, here is what you need to learn.</p> --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/message Support this podcast: <a href="https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support" rel="payment">https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support</a>

00:13:12

The doubledanger caregiver

Is it possible for someone to be both a narc. and a codep.? Listen here to understand. </p> --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/message Support this podcast: <a href="https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support" rel="payment">https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support</a>

00:04:27

The making of a narc. and codependent.

Today, I shared the mythical and clinical history about these personality types. I also talked about how you can tell if your first caregiver is a narc. or a codependent caregiver. </p> --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/message Support this podcast: <a href="https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support" rel="payment">https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support</a>

00:10:01

Attachment activity

Which of the three attachment styles are you familiar with? Listen to hear what I have to share.</p> --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. <a href="https://anchor.fm/app">https://anchor.fm/app</a> --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/message Support this podcast: <a href="https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support" rel="payment">https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support</a>

00:08:37

Ambivalent attachment style.

What is an ambivalent attachment style? Listen here to learn more. </p> --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. <a href="https://anchor.fm/app">https://anchor.fm/app</a> --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/message Support this podcast: <a href="https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support" rel="payment">https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support</a>

00:06:46

Insecure attachment

What does it mean for someone to develop an insecure attachment style? Listen here to learn more.</p> --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. <a href="https://anchor.fm/app">https://anchor.fm/app</a> --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/message Support this podcast: <a href="https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support" rel="payment">https://anchor.fm/bisola-mariam/support</a>

00:07:51